RashidQadri
A Personal Perspective on the World
I read How to Win Friends and Influence People many years ago, and it changed my life in more ways than I can count. Ironically, it wasn’t my own curiosity that led me to it—it was my son. He insisted that I read it, almost to the point of nagging, and looking back, I’m grateful that he did. This book didn’t just teach me how to communicate better; it transformed the way I see relationships, leadership, and even global conflicts.
If this book had been taught in every school since its publication in 1936, I truly believe we wouldn’t be facing many of the problems we have today—on both personal and global scales. The fundamental issues we see in relationships, businesses, and even international diplomacy all stem from the same core problems that Dale Carnegie outlined nearly a century ago. And yet, time and time again, world leaders, policymakers, and even the everyday person fail to grasp these simple principles.
How often do we hear politicians, diplomats, and world leaders say, “It’s complicated” when discussing global issues? But is it really? When you strip away the political jargon and national interests, many conflicts boil down to the same fundamental principles that Carnegie laid out so clearly:
These are principles that could solve countless diplomatic crises before they even arise. But instead, leaders choose aggression over understanding, condemnation over appreciation, and criticism over collaboration.
One of the greatest geopolitical crises of our time could have been entirely avoided if mutual understanding had been prioritized. Imagine if, instead of escalating tensions through public condemnation and military buildup, world leaders had engaged in genuine dialogue based on mutual respect and an “eager want” to create peace.
The principle of seeing things from the other person’s perspective was completely ignored. Instead of understanding the historical grievances, security concerns, and motivations of all parties involved, both sides chose the path of confrontation. A different approach—one rooted in the desire to find common ground—could have led to negotiations instead of destruction.
The ongoing tensions between the U.S. and China over trade, Taiwan, and technological supremacy are another example of how much we could gain from Carnegie’s principles. Instead of endless tariffs, bans, and accusations, what if leaders employed the simple but powerful principle of giving sincere appreciation? Imagine if both countries recognized each other’s contributions to global progress rather than fixating on competition.
This doesn’t mean compromising one’s values, but rather fostering an approach where respect and acknowledgment take precedence over conflict. When leaders focus solely on “winning” at the cost of relationships, they ultimately lose more than they gain.
From Israel-Palestine to Saudi-Iranian relations, many disputes in the Middle East are fueled by a refusal to acknowledge the other side’s perspective. Carnegie’s advice to never tell someone they’re wrong but instead ask questions and understand their emotions could change the way peace negotiations are conducted.
What if, instead of years of violence and counterattacks, leaders took a moment to ask: “What does the other side actually want? How can we address their fears and concerns while ensuring our own security?” If this mindset had been in place decades ago, history might have played out very differently.
While it’s easy to look at world leaders and see their failures, the truth is that these principles apply just as much in our own lives. How often do we criticize others instead of appreciating them? How often do we push our own agenda instead of understanding the needs and wants of those around us?
Since reading this book, I’ve tried to be more conscious of these things. I’ve learned to listen more, appreciate others genuinely, and avoid unnecessary arguments. And I can say without a doubt—it works.
If world leaders read How to Win Friends and Influence People and kept these principles in the back of their minds, we’d be living in a different world. But until that happens, we can start by applying these lessons ourselves.
Maybe it’s not too late for the world to catch up.
